Worst mistakes tourists can make in London?

[whole diary]

[CyclingSid]

I had two faggots the other night.

Maybe apocryphal but I've heard a story of an American tourist turning up at Paddington and asking for a ticket to Turkey. The clerk advised them to go to Heathrow. The American says they've just flown in to Heathrow and staff at the airport said to come to Paddington because there are trains from there to Turkey. After some confusion, and the tourist mentioning the English Riviera, it dawned on the clerk that the American was wanting to go to Torquay.

I've heard this one attributed to Reading. It doesn't matter as long as you are not in the queue behind them trying to get a train that departs shortly.

[mjones]

 Being conned into taking the Heathrow Express when the Underground would be vastly cheaper and not much slower for many journeys. It must be pretty annoying for those who find themselves completing their journey by Underground to see Heathrow on the map and realise they could have used it from the start.

[Bmblbzzz]

I've made the fag mistake in the US. And I don't even smoke! I also recall being puzzled by the word 'dumpster'; it sounds such an active word it was hard for me to interpret it as simply a rubbish skip.

[TonyK]

I had two faggots the other night.

#MeToo.

Maybe apocryphal but I've heard a story of an American tourist turning up at Paddington and asking for a ticket to Turkey. The clerk advised them to go to Heathrow. The American says they've just flown in to Heathrow and staff at the airport said to come to Paddington because there are trains from there to Turkey. After some confusion, and the tourist mentioning the English Riviera, it dawned on the clerk that the American was wanting to go to Torquay.

I recall something in the newspapers some time back where someone actually ended up in the wrong Turkey, the accidental visitor to the English Rivieera being Japanese rather than American. She was quoted as saying she had been through the channel tunnel, and was impressed by the speed of getting through it. The train she was found to have been on had gone via Box. Given that we have examples of Sloane rangers missing a festival at Leeds Castle after giving imprecise instructions to the taxi driver and not noticing that it was taking a long time to get to Kent, we should not be surprised.

[REVUpminster]

30 years ago giving a £10 note to a booking clerk at Green Park.

[eightonedee]

WARNING _ THREAD DRIFT ALERT!

Given that we have examples of Sloane rangers missing a festival at Leeds Castle after giving imprecise instructions to the taxi driver and not noticing that it was taking a long time to get to Kent, we should not be surprised.

... or my favorite, the Sloane Ranger who decided she would like to see a football match at Stamford Bridge and ended up at the site of the battlefield site just east of York.

While not involving London (hence alert above) - there's the old story of the passenger who rang BR^▸ (British Rail(ways)) enquiries asking for details of how to get to Goring. When the clerk asked "By Sea?", the passenger responded "no, by train, that's why I rang British Rail enquiries".

And there's the occasion someone rang asking for train times to Edmunds. Having been asked several times to confirm the name of the destination, the irate caller volunteered - "No, it's Edmunds. The address I am trying to get to is in Bury Street, Edmunds!"

[infoman]

The Japanese couple who bought  tickets in advance for the trip to Baff at Kings Cross(EASTERN REGION)

and boarded one of the London Paddington to Bath trains.

Can't blame the ticket office as they thought they said they wanted tickets to Brough near Hull

[Robin Summerhill]

The Japanese couple who bought  tickets in advance for the trip to Baff at Kings Cross(EASTERN REGION)

and boarded one of the London Paddington to Bath trains.

Can't blame the ticket office as they thought they said they wanted tickets to Brough near Hull

In a similar vein, but at a tangent to the thread topic, on Bath station I once overheard a very angry American tourist who had just got off a stopping train from Salisbury. Apparently he was at Waterloo and asked how to get to Bath and was told to change at Salisbury, when perhaps the booking Clerk at Waterloo should have told him to go to Paddington and get a fast train from there.

THis was back in BR^▸ (British Rail(ways)) days when inter-TOC^▸ (Train Operating Company) rivalry wouldn't have been am issue, but perhaps BR inter-regional rivalry still was...

[RichardB]

The Japanese couple who bought  tickets in advance for the trip to Baff at Kings Cross(EASTERN REGION)

and boarded one of the London Paddington to Bath trains.

Can't blame the ticket office as they thought they said they wanted tickets to Brough near Hull

In a similar vein, but at a tangent to the thread topic, on Bath station I once overheard a very angry American tourist who had just got off a stopping train from Salisbury. Apparently he was at Waterloo and asked how to get to Bath and was told to change at Salisbury, when perhaps the booking Clerk at Waterloo should have told him to go to Paddington and get a fast train from there.

THis was back in BR^▸ (British Rail(ways)) days when inter-TOC^▸ (Train Operating Company) rivalry wouldn't have been am issue, but perhaps BR inter-regional rivalry still was...

Sounds more like a mischievous booking clerk to me...……..I used to work at the Travel Centre next door.

[didcotdean]

On the other hand, I think it was "Which?" that criticised the advice given to them at Paddington for the cheapest fare to Bath, which at the time of day would have been to go via Waterloo, and this was not offered.

[RichardB]

On the other hand, I think it was "Which?" that criticised the advice given to them at Paddington for the cheapest fare to Bath, which at the time of day would have been to go via Waterloo, and this was not offered.

Surely the rule is that the booking clerk is only required to offer the cheapest fare from that actual station? 

[eightonedee]

Surely the rule is that the booking clerk is only required to offer the cheapest fare from that actual station?

In an ideal world, the booking clerk would tell the passenger that the quickest way is to go to Paddington which would take X minutes and cost £A, but if they wanted a cheaper fare they could go via Salisbury which would take X +Y minutes but cost £A-B.

That's easy to say though when you are sat on the sofa with one eye on Strictly, not so easy when you are in front of someone who has just got to the front of a long queue and wants a quick answer and the queue behind them is growing as you speak

(Apologies for prolonging the thread drift!)

[eightonedee]

and when callers ring into radio bristol from LA it
took me ages to work out where in the radio bristol aerial LA was

You mean there's another Long Ashton somewhere else in the world?

[Phil]

I had to cringe listening today, from several seats away, to an obviously stressed FGW^▸ (First Great Western) guard being what I considered to be rude, but perhaps others would merely refer to as "less than helpful," to a lone American traveller (I suppose I should really refer to him as a "traveler" come to think of it) on a train between Romsey and Salisbury. On being asked for his ticket, said American presented an Oyster^▸ (Smartcard system used by passengers on Transport for London services) card and apologised for not having found anywhere to tap in. The guard rather shortly said those aren't valid outside of London and asked where he was going, and on receiving the reply "Stonehenge" said "well that's in the middle of nowhere so you'll have to get off at Salisbury" followed by "no I have no idea what you do at Salisbury, look for a bus or something I suppose". The gentleman was quite sanguine about it and happily paid cash to cover the trip, but I was left feeling a bit sorry for him and thinking it could have been handled a little more sympathetically.

It struck me that this sort of thing probably happens quite often - hence the exasperation on the part of the guard, I suppose. In which case why isn't it made clearer to the occasional traveller that Oyster cards aren't valid on certain journeys? Maybe on the on-board destination displays?

[grahame]

(Apologies for prolonging the thread drift!)

Don't worry about that ... one of the moderators or admins can split the thread if need be (I dare not with the current poor connection)

In an ideal world, the booking clerk would tell the passenger that the quickest way is to go to Paddington which would take X minutes and cost £A, but if they wanted a cheaper fare they could go via Salisbury which would take X +Y minutes but cost £A-B.

That's easy to say though when you are sat on the sofa with one eye on Strictly, not so easy when you are in front of someone who has just got to the front of a long queue and wants a quick answer and the queue behind them is growing as you speak

Interesting one ... yes, that's a very good answer.   Bath Spa to London (like Melksham to London) ... choice of route is an interesting one, and for me depends on where in London I want to be.  For someone at Waterloo, especially with significant luggage - perhaps the answer is "easiest and cheapest way from here is via Salisbury. It will cost you more and be a far less easy change, but be slightly quicker, if you go via Paddington".

I had to cringe listening today, from several seats away, to an obviously stressed FGW^▸ (First Great Western) guard being what I considered to be rude, but perhaps others would merely refer to as "less than helpful," to a lone American traveller (I suppose I should really refer to him as a "traveler" come to think of it) on a train between Romsey and Salisbury. On being asked for his ticket, said American presented an Oyster^▸ (Smartcard system used by passengers on Transport for London services) card and apologised for not having found anywhere to tap in. The guard rather shortly said those aren't valid outside of London and asked where he was going, and on receiving the reply "Stonehenge" said "well that's in the middle of nowhere so you'll have to get off at Salisbury" followed by "no I have no idea what you do at Salisbury, look for a bus or something I suppose". The gentleman was quite sanguine about it and happily paid cash to cover the trip, but I was left feeling a bit sorry for him and thinking it could have been handled a little more sympathetically.

I would argue that the complex fares and ticketing system is pretty darned hard to explain to people brought up in the same country as the system, let alone overseas visitors.   And that it's going to be impractical for train managers to know about connections to tourist spots.   At the very least, however, a far better answer would have been "Stonehenge is not near any station - I suggest you get out at Salisbury and ask at the ticket barrier" .... and I suspect that the barrier people would be very familiar with directing people to the bus on Station Approach.