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47714
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« Reply #30 on: September 28, 2017, 21:39:16 » |
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Just had some people at my door trying to convince me that 'brown bread' was better than 'white bread'..
They were hovis witnesses.
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47714
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« Reply #31 on: September 28, 2017, 21:49:11 » |
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A lot of women turn into good drivers…
So if you’re a good driver, watch out for women who are turning.
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47714
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« Reply #32 on: September 28, 2017, 21:49:55 » |
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Good news for insomniacs!
Only 10 sleeps until Christmas!
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lordgoata
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« Reply #33 on: September 28, 2017, 21:55:14 » |
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Is this the joke thread? I've got one:
GWR▸ .
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johnneyw
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« Reply #34 on: September 28, 2017, 22:02:30 » |
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Chap goes to the bar and asks for a double entendre.
So the barman gives him one.
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JayMac
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« Reply #35 on: September 28, 2017, 22:19:46 » |
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Bloke walks into a bar.
Barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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"A clear conscience laughs at a false accusation."
"Treat everyone the same until you find out they're an idiot."
"Moral indignation is a technique used to endow the idiot with dignity."
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TonyK
Global Moderator
Hero Member
Posts: 6594
The artist formerly known as Four Track, Now!
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« Reply #36 on: September 29, 2017, 14:36:19 » |
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My wife asked why I had some bones simmering in a pot full of water on the cooker. I just gave her a stock answer.
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Now, please!
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JayMac
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« Reply #37 on: September 29, 2017, 15:15:33 » |
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To the man on crutches, dressed in camouflage, who stole my wallet ... you can hide but you can't run.
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"A clear conscience laughs at a false accusation."
"Treat everyone the same until you find out they're an idiot."
"Moral indignation is a technique used to endow the idiot with dignity."
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martyjon
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« Reply #38 on: September 29, 2017, 16:27:06 » |
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An acquaintance of mine told me he went to this years Notting Hill Festival and met a nice young lady of ethnic origins. At the end of the evening she asked him if he was going to walk her home. He replied, ' WHAT, I didn't think you could walk all the way to the Caribbean from here'
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TonyK
Global Moderator
Hero Member
Posts: 6594
The artist formerly known as Four Track, Now!
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« Reply #39 on: September 29, 2017, 18:09:46 » |
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A white horse walks into a bar, and to the surprise of the barman orders a small lager and lime and a packet of crisps. The barman, trying to make conversation, says "We serve a brand of whiskey named after you, sir." The white horse answers "You have a whiskey called Eric?"
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Now, please!
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47714
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« Reply #40 on: September 29, 2017, 21:24:46 » |
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Its not my fault I have a double-chin...
When God was giving out chins..
I thought he said Gin so I said I'll have a double.
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Trowres
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« Reply #41 on: September 29, 2017, 23:31:54 » |
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Ken: I'm rostered as conductor on the Aberdare...
Bill: I thought I was, but I must be Maesteg, Ken.
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JayMac
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« Reply #42 on: September 29, 2017, 23:39:49 » |
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RIP Jamiroquai  |
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"A clear conscience laughs at a false accusation."
"Treat everyone the same until you find out they're an idiot."
"Moral indignation is a technique used to endow the idiot with dignity."
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lordgoata
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« Reply #43 on: September 29, 2017, 23:56:38 » |
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RIP Jamiroquai
LOL▸ !  |
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JayMac
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« Reply #44 on: September 29, 2017, 23:57:47 » |
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If you've never seen it, and you love movie thrillers with brilliant surprise endings, try Tinker Tailor Soldier Colin Firth.
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"A clear conscience laughs at a false accusation."
"Treat everyone the same until you find out they're an idiot."
"Moral indignation is a technique used to endow the idiot with dignity."
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