Station and on board train announcements - merged topic, ongoing discussion

[whole diary]

[G.Uard]

Listen out for a colleague who takes a small xylophone to work.  Depending on weather or topical events, he serenades passengers over the PA^▸ (Public Address) before making announcements. (Remember Gladys Pugh on Hi de Hi ?)

I particularly remember one Friday morning during the August monsoon, when commuters arriving at BTM^▸ (Bristol Temple Meads (strictly, it should be BRI)) were treated to the opening bars of Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head.

[plymothian]

Listen out for a colleague who takes a small xylophone to work.  Depending on weather or topical events, he serenades passengers over the PA^▸ (Public Address) before making announcements. (Remember Gladys Pugh on Hi de Hi ?)

I particularly remember one Friday morning during the August monsoon, when commuters arriving at BTM^▸ (Bristol Temple Meads (strictly, it should be BRI)) were treated to the opening bars of Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head.

On a similar note, the announcement jingle on the Night Riviera is quite funky!

[inspector_blakey]

Conductor training includes on train announcements. We were told to put personality into the PA^▸ (Public Address) and not to use Doris, (who is just about obsolete anyway, although she does kick in automatically after every 4th door opening with a safety briefing on some classes of unit).  Long boring rambles are also proscribed, but we have been instructed to find our own cheerful, clear and informative style.  Customers will probably be pleased to know that training is very customer focused and that we are constantly being told not to leave passengers without info at extended signal stops etc.

My group of trainees have been out and about  these past few days practising this.  Apart from a quickly corrected error in announcing the stations on a certain Bristol branch in the wrong order,  I think, (ok then...hope) that we did make journeys a little more interesting.

Good to hear. I remember a Sunday evening train from Bristol to Didcot a few months back where after every stop the TM^‡(resolve) made a long and threatening announcement about the dire consequences that would befall anyone who tried travelling on his train with an Advance ticket for another service, which was immediately followed by another long screed from the customer host who warned first-class pax about being charged for complimentaries if they failed to show their ticket before ordering. Now, I'm all for giving people clear information but I suspect that these announcements (at least regarding ticket validity) and largely ineffective: the terminally confused will not understand what's being said and the chancers won't care! With station stops every 12 - 15 minutes (BTH^» (Bath Spa - next trains), CPM^» (Chippenham - next trains), SWI^» (Swindon - next trains), DID^» (Didcot Parkway - next trains)...) I was glad to escape when I DID  (pun intended...I'll get my coat). All a bit oppressive really, and not much of a welcome on board.

And as for the Welsh-language announcements at CDF^» (Cardiff - next trains) they're a bleedin' nuisance when a Milford Haven service changes platform at the last moment: there are so many station calls that by the end of the announcement in Welsh before you get anything in English sometimes all you'll see is the tail lights of your train disappearing off towards Bridgend. No doubt it's been said before, but given the relatively small number of people who speak Welsh only wouldn't it benefit the majority if these announcements were in English first, then Welsh? Still, I suppose it's helped me learn some Welsh place names and numbers (Hendy-gwyn ar Daf anyone?)

[John R]

And now (on HSS^▸ (High Speed Services) at least) we have further messages to store our bags properly and if we see anything suspicious to report it to the train crew (or as was said this morning, the police, which seems rather impractical advice.)

Added to which we are being told after each stop to check our train times on Xmas Eve, which seems OTT^▸ (Open Train Times website) for morning commuters.

If I thought the announcements would be switched off in the quiet carriage then I would certainly sit in there.

By the way, what constitutes a suspicious bag? Any bags stored in the overhead lockers or at the carriage ends could belong to anyone, so I how do I know if they are suspicious?
 

   

[Btline]

Announcements which should be AXED:

*Any in a language other than English
*Security - bags etc.
*Smoking (esp that B'ham New Street one!)
*Don't forget your belongings - people have heard it so many times, they do not take it in
*Anything with the word "customer"
*Stowing luggage
*Anything about not running due to the <insert weather word> weather
*Long messages from the "Customer Retail manager" (or Buffet man on proper TOCs^▸ (Train Operating Company)) - short ones are ok eg "shop closing after Lancaster"

There are probably many others. But these would save some electricity!

[Super Guard]

*Don't forget your belongings - people have heard it so many times, they do not take it in

I think that's the case for all announcements 

[devon_metro]

Announcements which should be AXED:

1Any in a language other than English
2Security - bags etc.
3Smoking (esp that B'ham New Street one!)
4Don't forget your belongings - people have heard it so many times, they do not take it in
5Anything with the word "customer"
6Stowing luggage
7Anything about not running due to the <insert weather word> weather
8Long messages from the "Customer Retail manager" (or Buffet man on proper TOCs^▸ (Train Operating Company)) - short ones are ok eg "shop closing after Lancaster"

There are probably many others. But these would save some electricity!

1. Why? tourism to England is on the up due to the weak ^.
2. Making announcements about security re-assures people
3. Smoking is illegel on stations and countless times do I see people doing it, so make it obvious so people can be grassed up!
4. You assume every person on the train travels frequently?
5. Its a technicality, I can't say it really matters.
6. This is particularly useful for the refurbished Voyagers where there is a large luggage rack.
7. Why?
8. Once again, not everybody travels on Virgin trains all the time. How many trains do you know that have an actual shop - potential for confusion perhaps?

[Btline]

Announcements which should be AXED:

1Any in a language other than English
2Security - bags etc.
3Smoking (esp that B'ham New Street one!)
4Don't forget your belongings - people have heard it so many times, they do not take it in
5Anything with the word "customer"
6Stowing luggage
7Anything about not running due to the <insert weather word> weather
8Long messages from the "Customer Retail manager" (or Buffet man on proper TOCs^▸ (Train Operating Company)) - short ones are ok eg "shop closing after Lancaster"

There are probably many others. But these would save some electricity!

1. Why? tourism to England is on the up due to the weak ^.
2. Making announcements about security re-assures people
3. Smoking is illegel on stations and countless times do I see people doing it, so make it obvious so people can be grassed up!
4. You assume every person on the train travels frequently?
5. Its a technicality, I can't say it really matters.
6. This is particularly useful for the refurbished Voyagers where there is a large luggage rack.
7. Why?
8. Once again, not everybody travels on Virgin trains all the time. How many trains do you know that have an actual shop - potential for confusion perhaps?

1. I meant Welsh.
2. Does it? Most people find it annoying and useless!
3. True, but people know it is illegal - having announcements won't change peoples' behaviour.
4. Less frequent travellers are less likely to leave something, and even they will have heard it many times on planes etc.
5. TOCs have passengers, not customers.
6. But in practice people won't change their habits, esp on Voyagers which are normally packed.
7. It is insulting, and it one of those announcements which is taking place of COMMON SENSE.
8. No, but those announcements take an age and are pointless.

[gaf71]

The security announcements are a Government thing I think, and they have to be made. TRANSECC or something similar, though I don't know what the abbreviation means.

[devon_metro]

Announcements which should be AXED:

1Any in a language other than English
2Security - bags etc.
3Smoking (esp that B'ham New Street one!)
4Don't forget your belongings - people have heard it so many times, they do not take it in
5Anything with the word "customer"
6Stowing luggage
7Anything about not running due to the <insert weather word> weather
8Long messages from the "Customer Retail manager" (or Buffet man on proper TOCs^▸ (Train Operating Company)) - short ones are ok eg "shop closing after Lancaster"

There are probably many others. But these would save some electricity!

1. Why? tourism to England is on the up due to the weak ^.
2. Making announcements about security re-assures people
3. Smoking is illegel on stations and countless times do I see people doing it, so make it obvious so people can be grassed up!
4. You assume every person on the train travels frequently?
5. Its a technicality, I can't say it really matters.
6. This is particularly useful for the refurbished Voyagers where there is a large luggage rack.
7. Why?
8. Once again, not everybody travels on Virgin trains all the time. How many trains do you know that have an actual shop - potential for confusion perhaps?

1. I meant Welsh.
2. Does it? Most people find it annoying and useless!
3. True, but people know it is illegal - having announcements won't change peoples' behaviour.
4. Less frequent travellers are less likely to leave something, and even they will have heard it many times on planes etc.
5. TOCs have passengers, not customers.
6. But in practice people won't change their habits, esp on Voyagers which are normally packed.
7. It is insulting, and it one of those announcements which is taking place of COMMON SENSE.
8. No, but those announcements take an age and are pointless.

I've only every heard Welsh announcements in WALES

[Phil]

I was on a Bristol bound HST^▸ (High Speed Train) out of Paddington a week or two ago when an elderly gentleman passenger alighted at Swindon and proceeded to very politely, but very forcibly, explain to the Guard, who was of either Indian or Pakistani origin I should imagine, that he and his fellow passengers hadn't understood one word of his announcements all the way from London to Swindon and honestly he really did think some simple lessons in basic English would be jolly useful don't you know?

The guard's face was a picture!

[Btline]

Announcements which should be AXED:

1Any in a language other than English
2Security - bags etc.
3Smoking (esp that B'ham New Street one!)
4Don't forget your belongings - people have heard it so many times, they do not take it in
5Anything with the word "customer"
6Stowing luggage
7Anything about not running due to the <insert weather word> weather
8Long messages from the "Customer Retail manager" (or Buffet man on proper TOCs^▸ (Train Operating Company)) - short ones are ok eg "shop closing after Lancaster"

There are probably many others. But these would save some electricity!

1. Why? tourism to England is on the up due to the weak ^.
2. Making announcements about security re-assures people
3. Smoking is illegel on stations and countless times do I see people doing it, so make it obvious so people can be grassed up!
4. You assume every person on the train travels frequently?
5. Its a technicality, I can't say it really matters.
6. This is particularly useful for the refurbished Voyagers where there is a large luggage rack.
7. Why?
8. Once again, not everybody travels on Virgin trains all the time. How many trains do you know that have an actual shop - potential for confusion perhaps?

1. I meant Welsh.
2. Does it? Most people find it annoying and useless!
3. True, but people know it is illegal - having announcements won't change peoples' behaviour.
4. Less frequent travellers are less likely to leave something, and even they will have heard it many times on planes etc.
5. TOCs have passengers, not customers.
6. But in practice people won't change their habits, esp on Voyagers which are normally packed.
7. It is insulting, and it one of those announcements which is taking place of COMMON SENSE.
8. No, but those announcements take an age and are pointless.

I've only every heard Welsh announcements in WALES

And? 
They should still be AXED along with Welsh road signs (dangerous) and markings. They can keep the station name boards - at least ATW^▸ (Arriva Trains Wales (former TOC)) put the welsh in a light green so the English stands out.

[welshman]

Nadolig Llawen a Blwyddyn Newydd Dda i chi, Btline.

[Btline]

Nadolig Llawen a Blwyddyn Newydd Dda i chi, Btline.

Hmmmm - I'll take it that the above translates into a "  " comment!

[John R]

Cue Moderators trying to find translation to ensure Btline has not been insulted.  

(Far from it, Welshman is wishing you the complements of the season.)