Station and on board train announcements - merged topic, ongoing discussion

[whole diary]

[slanted]

My favourite is the PA^▸ (Public Address) on the H&C/Circle line platforms at Paddington: "The next westbound train has just departed Paddington" not exactly the next train for people waiting on the platform

[didcotdean]

Now my favourite there was an exasperated non automated announcement which went along these lines.

"Customers waiting for the Circle Line train I said five minutes ago would be here by now - this train was sent to Hammersmith instead. If I had been told it was going to go to Hammersmith I would have told you. The next train that may remain a Circle Line train has just left Great Portland Street."

Not something you will hear with today's service pattern.

[BerkshireBugsy]

My favourite is the PA^▸ (Public Address) on the H&C/Circle line platforms at Paddington: "The next westbound train has just departed Paddington" not exactly the next train for people waiting on the platform

Indeed this has often caught my attention as potentially one of the more useless PA announcements

[Rhydgaled]

"Now arriving at London Paddington where this service will terminate"

Well done Train Manager Obvious... If the train tried to go any further there would be a dreadful mess and alot of awkward questions to answer...

Actually, I would suggest that a service could call at Paddington without terminating and not make a mess, trains call at Swansea and Carmarthen without terminating. Nobody's likely to put a reversal at PAD^» (Paddington (London) - next trains) as an intermediate call though I suppose.

[Boppy]

I've noticed the  "The next westbound train has just departed Paddington" message at the Paddington H&C Underground too but have since realised that it's an automated one sent to all stations along the Hammersmith-Paddington branch and not just Paddington.

That doesn't excuse the fact that it shouldn't be broadcast at Paddington though!

Boppy.

[thetrout]

On the front of c2c Class 357's I've often seen it say sometimes: "Empty to Depot"

Who's driving the thing??

[stebbo]

Best one I heard was years ago at Oxford in the 1970s. A train from Portsmouth to Liverpool Lime Street (remember them?) was due and the platform indicator showed a train to Bradford Exchange. The announcer started to recite the stops until he realised the mistake with a sudden "Who the f..... put that......" The platform indicator then changed and and he proceeded to go through the correct announcement with no qualms.

Nearly surpassed by a late running Hereford - Paddington train at Oxford also in the 1970s when the platform attendant announced "Will you all get on the b..... train so we can get this service f..... moving".

Mind you the current automated announcements don't work if trains get cancelled. Last week at Kingham (see other post about leaves and ice) the 0718 was cancelled and the automated announcer kept telling everyone about it only then to say the delayed 0618 would be along shortly - but I and several other passengers had nearly left the station. They need to find a way to intervene properly when things get disrupted.

[TonyK]

Years ago at a smaller London station, I was trying to get to Chiswick. The departure time for the train was approaching, when the announcement was made: "We apologise for the cancellation of the 8:15 service to Chiswick. This is because of a b...... cock-up".

One I read in the paper was an apology for delayed services "because of a failed Virgin at Watford".

[broadgage]

One of the most entertaining I have heard on a train was "this is the service to XYZ, may I remind the gentleman wearing a checked jacket who has just boarded the rear coach, that you owe me twenty pounds -------long pause-------mate" !

A hand written notice at a small station, years ago announced that a tresspasser had been killed "by a good train" ! and that delays would result.

At Waterloo East it was once announced that trains from Charing Cross were delayed due to "passengers fighting among themselves" (football related)

[ray951]

As heard last week on a SWT^▸ (South West Trains) service between Southampton and Winchester.

Would the passenger smoking in the first coach please stop smoking otherwise this service will be terminated at the next station.

I would like to have seen them terminating the said service without causing a riot given how late it was (22:30) and how busy it was.

[Brucey]

On the DLR^▸ (Docklands Light Railway):
"The next station is Canary Wharf.  Change here for London Underground services."  Fine
"The next station is Beckton, where this train terminates.  All change please."  OK, but see further down
"The next station is Bank, where this train terminates.  All change here for London Underground services".  Am I not allowed to exit the station here?  Why MUST I change for a London Underground service?

And one of my pet annoyances..... "All change please."  Fair enough, this has been around for years, but change for what?  What if I'm arriving at a terminus station and not changing for another service?

[John R]

I find the "All change please, all change" strangely nostalgic, in an era of announcements that include the most inelegant "next station sop".  I'm sure everyone knows what it means, and the alternative of "You all have to get off now" would irritate me far more.

[ellendune]

I find the "All change please, all change" strangely nostalgic, in an era of announcements that include the most inelegant "next station sop".  I'm sure everyone knows what it means, and the alternative of "You all have to get off now" would irritate me far more.

I agree, but perhaps it is not so clear to a new generation.  Or maybe it would be if we carried on using it.  If preceded by ".. where this train will terminate." All should be clear.

[ChrisB]

It's short for "All change to other means of transport, please"

[TonyK]

"Time, Gentlemen, please!"