Best and funny reasons for a train being late or cancelled

[whole diary]

[Palfers]

I recall an announcement at Waterloo East stating that trains from Charing Cross were being delayed "due to passengers fighting among themselves at Charing Cross"

Followed some minutes later by "they have now joined forces to fight the police" This second announcement was a bit perplexing to those who not heard the first one ! Whom had united with whom and why ?

These days of course it would simply be due to "an incident"

I reckon the announcement would sound something like this now. this train is being delayed due to disruptive passengers. I think there is a list of pre loaded reasons for delays and cancelations and and the best one for the situation is chosen. I rember at plymouth a few years ago on a hot summers day. The dsm was having a laugh and a joke by playing an automated messege something along the lines of please take extra care as platforms maybe icy. And people just looked amused 

[Brusselier]

not really about being late. but travelling from Waterloo to Exeter about 10+ years on a very crowded six car 159. the guard comes on the PA^▸ (Public Address (broadcast loudspeaker announcements) or Passenger Assist (railway staff providing physical assistance to passengers with mobility issues), depending on context) and announces how sorry she is for the crowding on the service, adding "But it is half four on a Friday, so what do you expect?". It was delivered very tongue in cheek, and she was in good cheer when she did her "tickets and excuses" check

[Trowres]

A very large inflatable hamburger on the line in the Newport area

http://www.indymedia.org.uk/en/2002/10/44217.html

[rogerpatenall]

Many, many years ago, Castle Cary was amongst stations issued with what are now called 'A' boards. Printed at the top was the notation 'Trains are running late due to' and underneath was a blackboard. First time used, Miss Jones (with the neatest writing on the staff) wrote on the blackboard 'delay'.

100% for factual accuracy.

[TonyK]

In the late 1970s, I was at a smaller London station, I forget which, waiting for a train to Chiswick. The announcer said "We apologise for the cancellation of the 2032 service to London Waterloo. This is because of a bloody cock-up".

Must have been his last shift before retiring.