The Moon under Water

[whole diary]

[Red Squirrel]

Seeing grahame's post (here: http://www.firstgreatwestern.info/coffeeshop/index.php?topic=21775.msg267365#msg2673650) about a utopian vision for a bus station reminded me of George Orwell's stipulations for the perfect pub, which he called 'The Moon under Water':

1. The architecture and fittings must be uncompromisingly Victorian.
2. Games, such as darts, are only played in the public bar "so that in the other bars you can walk about without the worry of flying darts".
3. The pub is quiet enough to talk, with the house possessing neither a radio nor a piano.
4. The barmaids know the customers by name and take an interest in everyone.
5. It sells tobacco and cigarettes, aspirins and stamps, and "is obliging about letting you use the telephone".
6. "[...] there is a snack counter where you can get liver-sausage sandwiches, mussels (a speciality of the house), cheese, pickles and [...] large biscuits with caraway seeds [...]."
7. "Upstairs, six days a week, you can get a good, solid lunch—for example, a cut off the joint, two vegetables and boiled jam roll—for about three shillings."
8. "[...] a creamy sort of draught stout [...], and it goes better in a pewter pot."
9. "They are particular about their drinking vessels at "The Moon Under Water" and never, for example, make the mistake of serving a pint of beer in a handleless glass. Apart from glass and pewter mugs, they have some of those pleasant strawberry-pink china ones. [...] but in my opinion beer tastes better out of china."
10. "[...] You go through a narrow passage leading out of the saloon, and find yourself in a fairly large garden [...] Many as are the virtues of the Moon Under Water I think that the garden is its best feature, because it allows whole families to go there instead of Mum having to stay at home and mind the baby while Dad goes out alone."

Source:Wikipedia

I'm not sure I'd change too much of that - maybe tofurkey rather than liver sausage, we could live without the gender stereotypes, and obviously any pub worth the name serves Butcombe Bitter...

Oh and yes, I do know that this name has been used by a national pub chain for some of its outfalls; let's not discuss that here though for fear of causing offence.

[JayMac]

Outfalls? I like it.

Lest it be forgotten that beer is merely rented.

[johnneyw]

I would only add it should be somehow exempt from all or at least a good deal of current beer duties.

[Bmblbzzz]

No 9 is interesting. I can't remember the last time I was served beer in a glass with a handle (in the UK^▸ (United Kingdom) at least) and as for pewter or china, I've only ever seen them used as decorations. Not sure I'm really fussed about having a handle but I do agree the material changes the taste of the beer (or other drink). I'm not particularly keen on metallic tastes and in any case I dare say pewter would be ruled out on elfin safe tea (or beer) grounds nowadays, as it contains lead. China might be good though.