Wanted - someone who majors in politics - to help revitalise railways

[whole diary]

[grahame]

From my Twitter feed ... Network Rail Western @networkrailwest

Do you have an interest in politics and want to work in our fast-paced industry, where we are at the heart of revitalising Britain’s railway? If so, we're recruiting a new public affairs manager, based in Bristol.

Link to ((here)) for more details

[SandTEngineer]

Spills coffee...

Fast-paced industry.....

[Lee]

Key accountabilities:

"Devise, develop, implement and report on activities which support the delivery of the objectives contained in Network Rail’s corporate communications strategy." - Say No in a clear and concise manner.

"Develop a programme of proactive engagement with Members of Parliaments or relevant legislative or other assemblies on behalf of Network Rail and seeking to highlight the company’s plans, activities and strategies." - Lobby those with influence to say No on your behalf.

"Manage designated public affairs activities, including meetings, receptions and tours within agreed financial budgets." - Wine and dine those you are about to say No to.

"Identify activities and key messages that support Network Rail’s business objectives and key operational imperatives.  Maintain an awareness ofevents and programmed company activities that may require planned public affairs activities." - Come up with new and exciting ways of saying No.

"Develop and implement public affairs activities which are fully co-ordinated and consistent with other communications strategies and activities." - Join forces with your colleagues to say a great big No right across Network Rail.

"Establish an effective network of internal and external contacts as appropriate to carry out the public affairs function." - Encourage your staff and stakeholders alike to spread the word No far and wide.

"Implement the major incident communications plan as required." - In an emergency, just say No.

[grahame]

Key accountabilities:

[snip]

Clever - but not very positive there, are you 

[Lee]

Key accountabilities:

[snip]

Clever - but not very positive there, are you 

Yes.

[RichardB]

That's a good job for someone.   Should get a lot of applicants.

[Chris from Nailsea]

Thank you, RichardB, for your comments - adding some gravitas to this discussion. 

Yes, it will be a great job for the successful candidate - based in Bristol, where there is so much happening on the railway infrastructure. 

[grahame]

From RailwayWorld.net, a rejection letter that shows how badly Network Rail need someone to help them look after their image

Like everyone else in the UK^▸ (United Kingdom) I am a stakeholder in Network Rail, and, despite its much discussed challenges, would expect this major nationalised industry to conduct its recruitment in a professional manner.

Disgusted, angry, shocked, upset ... [continues]

[Lee]

Key accountabilities:

"Implement the major incident communications plan as required." - In an emergency, just say No.

[eightonedee]

Never mind  - they probably have a recorded message on the phone system that apologises for the delay in your call being answered, tells you how important your call is to them and then rings off after you have held on for 5 minutes and heard it several times.......