Great Western Coffee Shop

Sideshoots - associated subjects => The Lighter Side => Topic started by: grahame on May 23, 2024, 22:04:35



Title: Policies - lighter side or are they?
Post by: grahame on May 23, 2024, 22:04:35
Moved to the lighter side

You have to put up your own deposit I think....

Yes, £500, but you only have to get 5% (or more) of the votes cast to get it back  :D ... and I'll have to work out how many weeks pension that it.    Imagine the power of an election address to every address in the constituency coverage such loony idea which actually could work!

Here are 25 Loony policies - some are real, some are modified from real loony policies, and some are made up.  Some might actually have a seed of sanity in them, especially some of the transport ones.   Can you identify which are which? 



Any possible schemes thought up by Government, Council , NHS etc,  such as closure of Hosptitals, workplace parking levy etc will be preceded with a Public Consultation which will then be ignored

Buses and trains to stop at the same places as each other, be on the same journey tracker and planner, and call at times that connect with each other

Councils will be merged so that whole towns and urban areas will have a consistemt and cost effective planned governance for the neighbourhood

Delay repay will be slashed by making trains more reliable and tickets cheaper so there is less to give back

England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland will each join the EU as full members to give us more influence than we had before

Flat fare of £1 for all public transport journeys within UK. Car parking to cost £1 an hour over half a mile for the vehicle's registered address

Greyhound racing will be banned to prevent the country going to the dogs

His majesty to review his government's performance against its manifesto promises each year

Innocent prisoners will be released in order to reduce prison overcrowding

Junior Ministers must spend at least one day a week in schools to explain their policies and what they'll acheieve to the younger generation

King's Cross St Pancras is to be renamed just St Pancras because the word "Cross " in the name reminds people they are unhappy when their train is delayed

Liquid fossil fuels for private vehicles shall be no cheaper than milk, volume for volume.

MPs to be elected in a fifth of the constituences every year to ensure a continuity of government, on a single MP transferrable vote system.

No-one will go hungry in the winter as brussel sprouts will be supplied to those who are desparate for anything to eat

OAPS will qualify for a Summer Ice Lolly Allowance if temperatures exceed 70 degrees

Promonande concerts will be broadcast in the open air to encourage them to bring culture free to cities and towns across the UK

Queensway will have the same number of buses running up and down it rather than all daytime buses going one way

Rwanda will be allowed to send people it doesn't want to the UK so they can be settled here and be made useful members of society

Stamp duty will be cancelled as stamps are expensive enough without having to pay duty

To protect pets and people of a nervous disposition we would introduce silent fireworks

Unruly teenagers will be superglued together as if you can’t beat them, join them

Voting weighting in elections will be based on voters age so life expectancy. The youth will get more say because they have more to loose if we get it wrong.

Wind turbines to be allowed in all counties

Younger drivers under the age of 50 when travelling with spare sets must offer those seats to older people with DBS certificates. This will help reduce the number of cars on the road an save more roadbuilding.

Zero hour contracts may continue, but must offer at least 8 hours of work at minimum wage in each week.


Title: Re: Policies - lighter side or are they?
Post by: Chris from Nailsea on May 23, 2024, 22:34:15
Quote
Wind turbines to be allowed in all counties

We have lots of them around the mouth of the River Avon. (That's the River Avon into the Severn Estuary).  ;)



Title: Re: Policies - lighter side or are they?
Post by: grahame on May 23, 2024, 22:57:20
Quote
Wind turbines to be allowed in all counties

We have lots of them around the mouth of the River Avon. (That's the River Avon into the Severn Estuary).  ;)



Wiltshire doesn't allow them.  Even thought there would be some booootifully suitable places!


Title: Re: Policies - lighter side or are they?
Post by: JayMac on May 24, 2024, 06:01:36
Wiltshire doesn't allow them. 

Why on earth not?


Title: Re: Policies - lighter side or are they?
Post by: CyclingSid on May 24, 2024, 07:12:36
In the next six weeks can the politicians separate the true ones from the artificial?


Title: Re: Policies - lighter side or are they?
Post by: grahame on May 24, 2024, 12:07:18
Wiltshire doesn't allow them. 

Why on earth not?

It's a local plan policy and any planning applications that are made would be denied.  The policy is not one I agree with, and neither do most of my friends who are environmental campaigns (in fact I can't think of any of them who would support the policy).   I believe the ban relates to noise, to the danger to birds, and to how they look on the countryside.


Title: Re: Policies - lighter side or are they?
Post by: Chris from Nailsea on May 24, 2024, 19:57:22
Quote

His majesty to review his government's performance against its manifesto promises each year


That happens already: each week, the Prime Minister of the day meets with their Monarch to discuss matters of state, face to face.  After the press / publicity pictures are taken, there is then what apparently can be a fairly terse discussion in private.  I've read accounts from previous Prime Ministers that they experienced some very tough questioning from Queen Elizabeth II in such meetings, and I've no reason to believe that King Charles III will take a lesser approach.  :-X



Title: Re: Policies - lighter side or are they?
Post by: eXPassenger on May 24, 2024, 21:38:15
Great (alphabetic) manifesto.  I agree with a number of the items.


Title: Re: Policies - lighter side or are they?
Post by: Chris from Nailsea on May 24, 2024, 22:01:25
Quote

Buses and trains to stop at the same places as each other, be on the same journey tracker and planner, and call at times that connect with each other


There you're just being silly.  ;D




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