Great Western Coffee Shop

Is the 08:50 Melksham to Swindon running?   According to a phone call I made last night, it is.  Change at Canterbury (walking from East to West), St Pancras and Paddington.

WHAT?

It turns out that my informant had misheard my request and was giving me times from Aylesham, in Kent where (by some amazing co-incidence) there is also an 08:50 departure ....

I imagine such occurrences are frequent, more so from locations with the same name.

How many people get Newport (S.Wales) when they want Newport in Essex for example?

And it's not just the Telephone Operators that make these mistakes either.

A few years ago I was at London Bridge and asked for a First Class Single to Gillingham which at the time was around ^12.00 from memory. It was intended that a senior trout would pick up 'thetrout' at Gillingham Station that afternoon.

I did think there was something wrong there so asked the chap to double-check the fare as I was expecting it to higher. Ticket was issued and it all looked ok so I thanked him and proceeded to Waterloo East. From there a walk down the escalators to Waterloo and onto an Exeter St Davids Train.

It quickly became apparent onboard the Exeter St Davids train that I had purchased an FDS (First Anytime Day Single) to Gillingham in Kent, and not Gillingham in Dorset........ ::) :-X :o

Worcester and Worcester Park happens quite a bit as well.

Occasionally I'll get a phone operator who insists that I decide to travel to/from Worcester Foregate St or Shrub Hill - but not either.

"I don't mind - either will do" doesn't get to be understood.

You'b be surprised at the amount of times the overseas call centres get Frome mixed up with Troon!

Several times I've been told there are no trains to Frome from Trowbridge at 18:15... Err try there being 4 direct trains and a further train if you change at Westbury ;)

Even more disconcerting, if they actually wanted to get to Newport, Isle of Wight.  :o

I wasn't even aware of the Isle of Wight Newport, but I imagine that the errors send people to the bigger well known place such as the Gillingham example above,

I have heard a tale told of a traveller arriving at Paddington and wanting to get to Heathrow for a flight to Turkey.  His request for assistance was misheard and hours later he arrived in Torquay.

In the days of occasional through trains to Brighton ... I know of a person waiting for hours at Leamington Spa for that train on the advise of station staff, while the train she wanted for Hatton kept arriving and leaving at the other side of the station.  "I had a much stronger accent in those days" says my wife, who had just flown into Gatwick that morning ...

When horseshoe nails ( yes,really!) were made in Portishead at Mustads, they once had a consignment go astray. Thanks to the Somerset burr (Port Zed moi luvver)they actually ended up in Egypt, much to the bemusement of the camel drivers! ;D

Back in the dark ages, I remember quite a few coach loads of Man United supporters turning up at 2pm on a Saturday at Gillingham Dorset, for the impending Gillingham v Man U cup match. By both train and road They didn't get to Kent in time.

There's the family friend many years ago driving from Somerset to St Ives to pick up a parcel from a Post Office...

... he'd got a garbled second hand message, along the lines of, "It's at the main Post Office in the town."

He had a nice drive to Cornwall. The parcel remained in Cambridgeshire.

I was in Cobham last year when I was aked for directions to Chatham. I had no idea how to get there. I told them the only Chatham I know is in Kent which is miles away. I later found out that there is a Cobham in Kent which is quite close to Chatham. I was in Cobham, Surrey when asked.

Gillingham in Dorset is pronounced with a G as is Good, whereas the Kent homograph has a G as in Gentle.

Poulton and Bolton, both in Lancashire, caused some confusion once, as I argued the fare I had been quoted for a journey from Blackpool North.

Someone well known (I forget whom, but the daughter of a famous whatever) hired a taxi with her equally well off and thick friends to get to a concert at Leeds Castle.  They never got there, but did enjoy a pint of John Smiths.

And some say the Falkland Islands were discovered by accident, when the helmsman on the way to Australia incorrectly turned to starboard. His captain remonstrated: "I said port, Stanley!"

A friend was shopping in Bolton town centre once and was asked for directions to the Abbey.  Bolton abbey is some distance away in Yorkshire.

An incident I recall from BR Days was when, one Saturday lunch time, a man with an oriental appearance asked a staff member at Oxford for the train for Ascot.  He was directed to a DMU in the bay platform 3.  On arrival - at Ascott-under-Wychwood, the man was rather confused, so he went to the signal box and asked for directions to the race course.  As there were no trains back to Oxford from the station until Monday morning, the signalman kindly took the man to Charlbury in his car - sadly, too late to get to where he really intended to go for the race meeting. 

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/comedian-seann-walsh-cancels-gig-4336212