Print Page - A-salted peanuts and attempted mechanophilia.

Totally not rail related and only very tenuously linked to public transport but it is local to FGWs area and rather amusing:

From the North Devon Journal (http://www.thisisdevon.co.uk/Man-tried-making-love-ambulance-Barnstaple-bus/story-18137026-detail/story.html#ixzz2KsOvljfo):

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A DRUNK man set fire to a packet of peanuts and tried making love to an ambulance, North Devon Magistrates' Court has heard. Calum Ward, 25, of Westaway Heights, Barnstaple, was spotted by police in Barnstaple bus station on November 12.

(https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQAMVPbRXeinKyBCF8quNCYEddR9r-xKa17WebRa7724vfoHVuudQ)

The court heard he was "in relatively high spirits" and said he was going home to sober up. But he was then spotted on CCTV in a phone box setting light to a packet of peanuts while also punching them.

The court heard Ward also approached members of the public who were forced to turn their backs on him and walk away. He then approached a nearby ambulance and spread himself in front of it. Mark Haddow, for the defence, said the attending police officer commented: "It looks as though he is attempting to make love to the front of the ambulance." After being searched Ward was found to be in possession of cannabis and amphetamine.

Then on November 30 last year there was a similar incident on Bideford Quay when Ward was stopped by police for being drunk and disorderly. Mr Haddow told the court: "He had a great deal of difficulty in standing up but despite this police were offering him the chance to go home."

The court heard Ward then began shouting insults and swearing at a Scottish officer. Mr Haddow, who also happens to be Scottish, told the court: "He was arrested and detained and spent the night in cells.

Ward, who was unrepresented, was given the chance to speak to magistrates. He said: "I did start using drugs and drinking. I have seen the error of my ways with that."

Ward was sentenced to a community order with a supervision requirement for six months and ordered to pay a victim surcharge of ^60.

;D

I know 'victim surcharges' are just a different form of financial penalty, but who were the victims? Two inanimate objects it seems. A packet of KP and an emergency vehicle. I hope the nuts recovered from the assault and attempted immolation and the ambulance wasn't too traumatised.

Judging by the quotes and the fact that the defendant was unrepresented, I think Mark Haddow was the prosecutor, rather than 'for the defence'.

As an aside can anyone tell me what's wrong with the picture the NDJ have used to accompany the article?

I've just discovered an artist's impression of what went down that day in Barnstaple. From a rather surreal tumblr blog Jim'll Paint It (http://jimllpaintit.tumblr.com/):

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(http://25.media.tumblr.com/79eab7f9a23223bbf93c1eacfbbc67e4/tumblr_mjm7llVa5m1s6ylubo1_500.jpg)
Dear Jim,

This happened recently in a little town called Barnstaple, Devon:

http://www.thisisdevon.co.uk/Man-tried-making-love-ambulance-Barnstaple-bus/story-18137026-detail/story.html#axzz2Ku10WhjP

Please paint me what happened in this story.

It would make my life,

Claudia Capocci

Great Western Coffee Shop

Sideshoots - associated subjects => The Lighter Side => Topic started by: JayMac on February 22, 2013, 03:47:28