Great Western Coffee Shop

I travel in First Class occasionally when I need to work on the train...

I've heard two (very funny to me) excuses recently when tickets have been checked in First class and people have been found to have Standard class tickets so I thought I'd start a list to see if anyone has anymore...

1.. But we always sit in here
2.. Oh.. I didn't notice where I'd sat

I'm only going to the next stop........ :o

But standard class is full....

Heard a few years ago on a train heading out of Kings Cross

"...... But I'm staff."

"I have a bad back......................"

and when that didn't work:

"I'm a journalist................"

quickly followed by a threat to "expose" maltreatment.


That didn't work either!

i needed to charge my phone is quite common

That's an interesting one which I think is a load of codswallop! An interesting experiment might be to place a turd banana skin on each seat and then see if people "didn't notice where they'd sat" ;D ;D :D ;)

Well yes.. He knew just what he was doing.. Worth a try from Maidenhead as there are still less ticket checks than are needed...And he was just sent back to standard class.... nothing else was done.. so he can try the same thing again next time too...

... to which the train staff response should be, "No problem at all: I'll just use my Avantix to charge the upgrade!"  ::)

...I'm pregnant...

In line with South Eastern policy, the lady was allowed to stay in 1st Class, her name and address taken and told to apply immediately for the season ticket 'upgrade' that would entitle her to sit in the seats.

They really should put dividers between the classes so I don't keep overhearing this stuff!

"Que?"

(amazing how many people turned out of First Class because they allegedly couldn't speak a word of English seem perfectly capable of subsequently ordering coffees and sandwiches all round from a long list of menu choices...)

"I'm George Osbourne."

"I'm George Osborne's PA"  ;D ;D

"Don't you know who I am?"

Congratulations!

(Well someone had to do it :-p)

Joke of the day is won by... anyone but you. That was awful. You can go now. Thank-you.

I do enjoy the "medical conditions" I overhear... most relate to being afraid of enclosed spaces or being allergic to "standard class scum".

Your coat sir? ;D ;D ;D

Sorry, but that did make me chuckle...! ;D

'I didn't know it was first'.

We have done that.  After changing at Clapham Jcn onto a packed Southern train (is that not tautology?) for Gatwick, with cases, we saw some spare seats, which other standing pax were ignoring.  After collapsing, after 5 mins, I noticed the First signs.  We had assumed that the standing pax were piling out at E Croydon (they usually do) and thus were not bothering with a seat.  Southern is a bit like being on the Tube, frankly.

After leaving the seats hurriedly and embarassed, we decided that the real reason for our mistake was that the first class was such crap seating, it was forgivable that a stranger could be mistaken.

Well it isn;t helped by all the standard class antimacassars having the word "first" on them.

A couple of times, I've seen standard class ticket holders in the standard class coach fretting that they are in the wrong part of the train. 

It is only like being on the tube on services within London.  Once you're outside, it is like being anywhere else.  Given the first class seats are identical to their standard counterparts in the front and rear coaches of their Electrostars, you'd be forgiven for thinking it was standard.  Especially on certain types of unit where there is no separating door between first and standard.

You 'first' have to ignore quite a  few warning notices to 'not realise' you are in first on the typical SN 377, as in the composite photo below...

Paul

Thanks for your photos -brought it all back.  Imagine that you are climbing among one another and weighed down with cases and that the vestibule is packed.  I admit it was silly of us not to wonder why nobody had taken the two remaining seats but I explained that.

Actually it was a pleasure to get out of there as the genuine first class passengers opposite were stuck up types who talked loudly about how much money they had (just like the Harry Enfield 'rich brummy' sketch).  I'm not kidding.

All is forgiven Steve Norris (well not for Jarvis) - you were quite right, unfortunately.