Great Western Coffee Shop

Rail travellers are bracing themselves for yet more disruption on Britain^s railways, as Bob Crow made the case for industrial action on HS2 in approximately fifteen years time.

The high speed link between London and Birmingham should be complete by 2026, just in time for the first drivers^ strike.

Transport experts have welcomed the new rail system, which uses potentially higher speeds to really emphasise the misery of a replacement bus service.

Bob Crow denied that the strike was an opportunistic ego trip, and made some powerful noises as he lobbied his member.

^The risks associated with very, very slightly faster rail travel aren^t fully understood^, declared Crow, ^but I^m sure they can be tempered by a substantial pay rise.^

HS2 strike

Crow claimed that rail workers were unhappy at the prospect of being repeatedly propelled towards Birmingham, at the sort speeds that could cause scenery to blur slightly.

^It^s the passengers I feel sorry for^, claimed Crow, ^m only thinking of them. I want to assure them that when they^re blanked, jostled and sneered at, they^re being taken for granted by some of the most expensive rail workers in Europe.^

Critics of HS2 believe that the ^17bn budget would be better spent elsewhere, or at least used to point trains at somewhere prettier.

With a first class ticket projected to cost ^12,000 by 2026, they claim that Britain^s first high speed rail link will be ^a toy of the rich^.

Bob Crow denied that the strike was an opportunistic ego trip, and made some powerful noises as he lobbied his member.